Can You Be a Christian Therapist Without Telling Your Clients?

Camille McDaniel (01:32)
Welcome back to Christ in Private Practice!

So today I wanna talk to you about something I came across online, a discussion that I saw in a group and I thought it posed a really good question for us to talk about on an episode. ⁓ I came across actually a couple of conversations, but they were talking about or they were putting out there for other people to help them navigate where they had a session with their counselor and I guess, know, finding out

that their counselor was a Christian, they wanted to just kind of lay out their experience and put in this online forum, you know, a question for everybody to help them navigate. And the question that they asked was, what do I do if I find out that my therapist is Christian? And at first, that might really honestly sound like just a very simple question. But when you read the rest of what they were sharing and you actually listen to ⁓ or read what other people were saying,

underneath the storyline of that ⁓ that comment, then it’s not really a simple question. And I thought that it would actually make a really good episode because I felt like it kind of delved into not just faith, but also ethics and professionalism. so I thought that that would be something good for us to kind of think about. And many of you may have already experienced that and some of you have not. I can remember

that one of the very first clients that I saw in private practice, it was a couple, and I had misunderstood what they were saying when they initially set up their appointment and I thought that they wanted a counselor who was a Christian. And so as I was in the initial evaluation and I was asking questions and just getting clarification on things, I clarified that they were here seeking somebody who was a Christian counselor. ⁓

upon which one of them said very strongly, no, no, are not looking for a Christian. And so I thought in that moment, ooh, okay, well, this is gonna be interesting. ⁓ And so then I proceeded to share with them that I am sorry for the mistake. I wanted to just be respectful of their time, but I think the…

the odd, I’ll say, the odd situation was that I had to let them know that I was a Christian. And I know some of you may think like, but did you have to? And it’s like, well, if somebody feels that strongly, I think that you should give them the opportunity to make an informed decision, right, ethics, and choose you. ⁓ Long story short, they actually ended up being one of my longest clients and referred.

couple of other people to my practice after they were no longer seeing me. So either way, in this particular case of what I saw online, I noticed that as they were sharing their story online, they were talking about how they had a lot of different challenges with faith and Christianity and the church and some experiences that they had that were very hurtful and just left them with a lot of things that they wanted to at that time process.

in their session and they said, know, it just kind of came up for them in their mind that they didn’t really know where their therapist actually stood on that. They said their therapist had seemed to be very open and comforting and supporting and helpful, but they just wondered what their therapist’s stance was as it relates to faith. So they asked their therapist and they said that the therapist kind of seemed to kind of…

slightly dance around the topic but then eventually did just answer them directly and let them know that they were that the therapist was a Christian. And some of the ways that they were ⁓ feeling after that also led me to say this would be a good topic to discuss.

know one of the things that they said was that they were just trying to process what to do with that information and should they still stay with the therapist, should they leave and find another therapist and one of the things that they mentioned in their comments or in the storyline that they were writing out was that they

They kind of felt like they were now walking on eggshells. They felt like they had bared their soul to the enemy. And so then people underneath that were kind of commenting and it’s like they, they actually seem to get some very neutral, healthy comments from some of the individuals who decided to respond didn’t seem to be too biased one way or another, but

just feeling that way, you know, saying like they felt like they then had bared their soul to an enemy. That’s not a light reaction. That’s a very strong thing that was happening within them after finding that out. you know, not even that they were

that they were kind of angry. They weren’t angry at their therapist, but it really just triggered a whole range of things internally that made it so that they just didn’t really feel safe. So today I want to walk through this in a clear and grounded way, not just can you be a Christian therapist without telling your clients, but more so what happens when we don’t say anything and

and then something comes up in a session and starts to change things. So ideally, as we talk through this episode, we’re going to kind of look at it from a point of view of ethics, around faith, around self-disclosure, and as always informed consent, and how can we respond to this ethically ⁓ when our faith

kind of comes in and creates tension in a session. So let’s kind of.

start with how this can show up because this usually doesn’t always happen at intake. I’m not talking about those situations where you know from the onset. I’m talking about when faith has not been introduced, the therapist hasn’t talked about their faith ⁓ and so therefore the client doesn’t really know that the therapist has any particular faith one way or another, right? And

So the client may have come in for something totally unrelated to anything of faith based on the surface. It may have been relationship issues, anxiety, burnout, or any number of things that bring our clients to seeking support and care for their overall mental health. ⁓ And so along the way of them seeing you,

something shifts. Okay, maybe they start talking about some kind of hurt that they had experienced in the church, or they start sharing with you ⁓ after really being comfortable and, kind of feeling like all their guards are down and now they’re settling into counseling. After having talked about what originally brought them there, they start maybe going down a road of, of sharing more about some religious trauma that they’ve experienced.

And we know how that goes because many of us have seen clients for a period of time and after some time they share some things that you had no idea were an issue.

and they didn’t share it for a number of reasons. It may not have been top of mind at the time, it may not have been something they were comfortable with until they really got a feel for you, or it have been something else, it could have been something that happened while they were actually seeing you. But whatever the case, it didn’t come out right away. And so now it comes up to the surface that

whatever things are going on ⁓ or maybe even some conflict within themselves about their faith, they could be deconstructing their faith but now faith is in the room and it’s never been addressed before and here we are. And so when that happens there’s a shift.

you know, ⁓ but it’s really important for us to recognize this shift because it can occur and clients are watching you more closely. So they notice if you start to hesitate in, you know, talking about certain things and processing with them, or maybe if your, your tone starts to change or you start to redirect the conversation in another way. ⁓

you know, or it could be the opposite, that you are kind of really leaning in and kind of starting to, some clients have been known or people have shared at least, that their client, their therapist started leaning in and starting to share a bit more of their faith as they kind of try to figure out how to navigate the situation. And ultimately, you know, it comes down to the client didn’t know

of time that their therapist had a certain belief that might bump up against some internal dilemmas that they have. And so the therapist now starts to actually feel it too. So now you know the therapist could be thinking if they hadn’t already said anything again like my example that I gave when we first started because of the strong reaction my client

gave, I definitely felt like I needed to immediately share and give them the opportunity to make a decision. But what if you don’t receive such a strong reaction? What if it’s just something that comes up in passing and you’re not sure? Quite yet. If that is a topic that your client wants to rest on and process, you may not say anything. But then if that topic comes back around and now you realize this is something that they want to tackle in

counseling sessions with me. ⁓ Now you might be wondering, do I say something? Do I stay neutral? Do I avoid this? Am I about to cross a line here? You know, so what what do many therapists do?

Well, sometimes they try to stay quiet. They try to navigate it without really causing too many waves. They might redirect or they might kind of soften, you know, the situation at hand and they might shift their language. They might pull back altogether. But here’s the problem. But again, it’s not beneficial to the client. The client can feel that shift even if you never say a word.

They can feel the shift. They’re paying attention. They’re thinking about it. There are many clients who may not even share. They’re wondering, is this gonna be something that causes my therapist to not accept me? They are oftentimes still looking to see, is there going to be heavy judgment?

that can all create uncertainty and unfortunately when there’s uncertainty in the picture it can start to deteriorate the trust. So let’s let’s take a look at this situation as it relates to our ethics and some of our ethical codes. So according to the American Counseling Association and the American Psychological Association, we’re not required to disclose

every personal belief. That is not a part of the code of ethics at all. But we are required and we have talked about in past episodes, we’re required to avoid doing harm. We are required to respect the client’s autonomy and we are not to impose any of our values.

we have to practice within the confines of informed consent. So the issue is not do you have faith?

Right? The issue really is, is the client able to make a fully informed decision about their care? Do they have all that they need in order from you in order to make that decision? So if we take a look at our code of ethics and we apply it now to a, you know, an example of what could really happen, it’s going to look like this. Your

you’re in the session. Imagine you’re in session right now. Maybe you’ve already had this come up and you don’t have to imagine that hard, right? But the client brings up something tied to Christianity and then you realize okay this kind of intersects with my beliefs but we’ve never addressed beliefs of any kind on either side before. What do you do?

So instead of pushing forward.

instead of bypassing the issue or kind of getting quiet or playing it safe, instead of any of that, we want to slow it down. We might even say something along the lines of, you know, I want to pause for a moment. ⁓ This is an area that can actually intersect with ⁓ different beliefs between yourself and I and I want to make sure that I am supporting you in a way that feels right to you.

even stopping to say that, that level of transparency can really allow people’s guards to come down. Sometimes it might make people a little bit nervous because they’re not really sure what’s going to come next but

then what you keep on going and I think it will bring a lot of comfort to clients if you were to then keep going and ask you know like share you know that I happen to be a Christian and so those are the values that I hold and that influences the worldview that I have and how would you like to approach ⁓ you know this? Would you like to move forward because I absolutely can help you process what you’ve just brought

brought

up ⁓ but I want to make sure that you’re fully informed about your care and who’s providing your care so that you can feel fully comfortable with me in this session or you might decide you’re not comfortable at all. You know so that’s

that’s an idea. You may have some ideas yourself of how you might approach it or how you have have approached it but you then hand it back over to your client to say how would you like to move forward and this is where

it all can come together quite nicely because you’re not going to hide, you’re not going to be vague, you’re not going to pretend, you you let them know you want to be transparent with them, you want to be able to support them through the process, but you also want them to be totally comfortable in how you all move forward. And then you just pause and give them an opportunity to process it or make a decision, you know, of how they want to move forward.

And that is ethical and it’s being transparent and it’s honest, it’s respectful of their feelings, their beliefs, their journey. And most importantly, it is ethical because it allows your client to have choice.

it gives them an opportunity to choose what to do next instead of the mental health professional choosing for them.

And now your client gets to decide whether they want to continue, whether they want to ask you a few questions before they continue, ⁓ whether they want to maybe stop and process some of their concerns in the session. ⁓ Maybe they want to even consider a referral, you know? And no matter what they decide, our job as mental health professionals ⁓

operating within our faith is to support their decision without being offended. No defensiveness, no offense, this is their journey and they get to make the decisions on their journey. So let’s real quick come back to the original question. Can you be a therapist, a Christian therapist without telling your clients? And the answer is yes you can.

But that’s not always the best way, I would say, to even look at this. More so, the question probably is, when it becomes relevant, will you handle it in a way that protects the client’s autonomy and trust?

Because the truth of the matter is, that clients don’t just respond to what you say, they respond to what they feel and what they think they are noticing in you. And if they are feeling uncertain or feeling a little confused or they feel like there might be some hidden tension, then that will start to impact the way they interact with you. So this isn’t really about

over disclosing. We want to be very ethical in how we self-disclose. It’s not about hiding. It is definitely all about making sure that we are being clear, that we are being ethical by giving our clients an opportunity to consent to moving forward when we notice that there happens to be a trigger and a misalignment.

And it’s really about making sure that our clients never have to sit in sessions wondering, is this a safe place for me to be fully honest? And we want to be able to give them an opportunity to feel as safe as possible. Because when handled well,

These moments really allow us to practice in a way that is ⁓ aligned with our professional identity as faith-based clinicians and ethical and professional clinicians while we are continuing to protect our client trust in us and respect our client’s autonomy and just being therapeutically effective. ⁓

That’s what we want to do in all things. want to be right and we want to be in order in all things that we do. And some of the things that we encounter are not always easy, but there’s a solution for how we move forward.

If you found ⁓ value in this topic today, please share it with someone else because these things do pop up in counseling sessions and sometimes it causes people to freeze. They don’t know what to do. They don’t know how to approach it. They never thought about it, right? You know, they never thought that this might pop up, but it can and it does. And we want to definitely proceed in an ethical and professional way.

So share this, like this, comment down below if you have any questions, whether you are watching this on YouTube or listening to this on Spotify or Apple or anywhere else, that this is being played. And again, until we talk for another episode, God bless.